My eleven year old son is in the 5th grade and is very rebellious when it comes to completing written assignments. I know he has the intelligence to understand the material because his IQ tested very high when he first started school. He did very well in his first couple of years, but then he started to fall behind. He is not lazy, and he has natural curiosity about all kinds of things. Why is he so resistant to learning in the classroom, and what can we do about it?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Single Mom
Erickson
Dear Frustrated Single Mom,
Based on what you have explained about your son I want to first ask you about the connections you have with your him? What exercises did or do you have in place to building trust with each other? From the ages of 6-11 children start to be more competent and productive yet they may begin to feel inferior and feel as though they are unable to do anything well.
Based on the past experiences he is searching for personality identity. According to current theorist, " the length of the process, with few young people developing a firm sense of who they are and what path they will follow. The specific aspects of identity- religious, political, sexual, and vocational have taken new forms and schedules as well" (Berger , 2008).
Your son has entered a time in life where teenagers have identity crisis. Try working with your son and creating a way for him to create an identity checklist. Your son feels out of place right now and anything you can do to help him in a path to figuring out "who he is" and what his goals are". Just so you know in this fast paced world it is extremely hard to find your own identity at this age.
Try making his environment calm and spend quality time together engaging in constructive activities.The adult role model is the key in this situation or he may become stagnant in this identity crisis (that is very normal for this age).
Good luck and please let me know if you have any further questions, as I am now out time for today.
Sincerely,
E.E.
Freud
Dear Frustrated Mom,
Based on your son's age, my first inclination is to respond that your son has entered the Adolescent or Genital Stage of Development. If this is the case, his focus is now on pleasurable sensations. This might be one cause for his rebellion. Another possible cause might be if he has not entered the Adolescent Stage, then he would still be in the latent phase, and might be seeking equilibrium. If this is the case, he has a need to fulfill and is having trouble meeting it. Using the information you gave, I would ask if something at home changed as far as parent-child relationship before you noticed the change in school performance. Your son might be trying to fulfill a missing piece in the father-son relationship. Another possibility would be that there are some repressed memories of events that took place in the past that are causing anxiety at school, preventing him from being able to access any information connected with his father.
Sincerely,
Sigmund Freud
key term - defense mechanism - regression = go back to previous stage to when things were good
compensation - "little man" syndrome (driving big or fast vehicles to compensate for ...)
repression - events placed far back in memory in attempt to forget, can still come back
justification - a type of rationalizing
rationalizing -
*escape - defense of ego - can be physical, or psychological
*denial
transferrence - transfering feelings about one situation onto another person
*projection - pushing something about one's self that you do not like onto someone else
*fixation - chronologically out of a stage, but being fixated on the stage (ex. oral fixation = gum chewing, smoking) (anal retentive vs. anal expulsive) expulsive = no filtering, everything is out all the time, someone else cleans up mess
Skinner
Dear Frustrated Mom,
It sounds like you have some real concerns about your son. It is not uncommon for children to have troubles in school as they get older. It would be of great interest to me to know exactly what has been tried with your son.
Operant conditioning may offer a solution. First of all, what is motivating to your son? What could be used as a reward to motivate him to do better, either at home or school? This could be either a material item that he enjoys, a preferred activity or take the shape of many other things. He could actually be motivated by the negative attention that he has been gleaning from his teachers and maybe from you.
Clearly, you are convinced of your son’s ability to perform well. You were not very specific in the letter about what behavior he is exhibiting in the classroom, except that he is not completing work. Is he acting out or just refusing to engage in appropriate behavior? If we are unable to determine an appropriate motivating reward, we may need to gather data surrounding the offending behavior. We would need to determine the behavior’s antecedent, which is what happens at or before the behavior. Then we would need to determine the consequence, positive of negative, to the behavior. At that time we could develop a strategy to deal with the behavior, either by changing the antecedent or consequence.
You may need to approach the problem bit by bit. Once you have determined terminal behavior or the desired end result, you could work toward the goal by shaping your son’s behavior, which is breaking down the end goal into manageable increments.
Your friend,
B. F. Skinner
Bandura
Dear Frustrated Single Mom,
First and foremost, I believe in a social learning theory and we learn by social modeling. Each person is a model and your son will learn by observing what others are modeling for him. Have your son visualize a past success so he can self-model. It would also be helpful if you had a male role model that he can look up to and if you have a neighbor, a priest, a friend, to model writing assignments for him, even consider, free writing after dinner so he can observe a male role model performing this skill. If he wants to learn this skill he needs attention, retention, reproduction and motivation. Let’s take a deeper look into each of these behaviors.
1. Attention: He has to pay attention, he cannot be tired or over hyper. If he is distracted, I would suggest turning the off the TV as well as other distractions.
2. Retention: He has to be able to remember and he needs to create mental images so he can remember them later. During the writing assignments, have him visualize them as a movie and type to script. This mental image should help him complete his writing assignment.
3. Reproduction: If he sees himself as being a good writing, he should be able to perform like one.
4. Motivation: As with any child, it is imperative that he has motivation in the form of reinforcement, these can include, past reinforcement, promised reinforcements and vicarious reinforcements. If you find that this does not work, consider negative motivations such as punishment, threats but be prepared for this to back fire.
In addition to the above suggestions, it is important for him to self-regulate his own behavior. Let me suggest three steps.
1. Self Observation: Ask him to look at past writing assignments and current writing assignments.
2. Judgement: Ask him to compare what he saw then versus now and set a goal.
3. Self-Response: When a goal has been reached, he needs to find a reward for himself. Likewise, if he does not do well, he may feel ashamed. This is tied closely to self concept, or you may know it as self-esteem. It is possible that he currently has a low self-concept and this is an issue that may need to be addressed. It is important for him to have positive self-efficacy, he needs to think he can do it! Think of the little engine that could.
If you find that the above suggestions do not help, please call my office and we may need to discuss therapy in the forms of behavioral charts, including a behavioral diary. We can discuss environmental planning based on the diary and self-contracts. I believe in an action oriented response, problem solving response and work well with people who like to get things done rather than philosophize about ids, archetypes, actualization, freedom, and all the other mentalist constructs personologists tend to dwell on. I believe in results that you can see and measure. I look forward to working with you and your son, we will solve this problem! Call my secretary at, 1-800-BANDURA.
My eleven year old son is in the 5th grade and is very rebellious when it comes to completing written assignments. I know he has the intelligence to understand the material because his IQ tested very high when he first started school. He did very well in his first couple of years, but then he started to fall behind. He is not lazy, and he has natural curiosity about all kinds of things. Why is he so resistant to learning in the classroom, and what can we do about it?
Sincerely,
Frustrated Single Mom
Erickson
Dear Frustrated Single Mom,
Based on what you have explained about your son I want to first ask you about the connections you have with your him? What exercises did or do you have in place to building trust with each other? From the ages of 6-11 children start to be more competent and productive yet they may begin to feel inferior and feel as though they are unable to do anything well.
Based on the past experiences he is searching for personality identity. According to current theorist, " the length of the process, with few young people developing a firm sense of who they are and what path they will follow. The specific aspects of identity- religious, political, sexual, and vocational have taken new forms and schedules as well" (Berger , 2008).
Your son has entered a time in life where teenagers have identity crisis. Try working with your son and creating a way for him to create an identity checklist. Your son feels out of place right now and anything you can do to help him in a path to figuring out "who he is" and what his goals are". Just so you know in this fast paced world it is extremely hard to find your own identity at this age.
Try making his environment calm and spend quality time together engaging in constructive activities.The adult role model is the key in this situation or he may become stagnant in this identity crisis (that is very normal for this age).
Good luck and please let me know if you have any further questions, as I am now out time for today.
Sincerely,
E.E.
Freud
Dear Frustrated Mom,
Based on your son's age, my first inclination is to respond that your son has entered the Adolescent or Genital Stage of Development. If this is the case, his focus is now on pleasurable sensations. This might be one cause for his rebellion. Another possible cause might be if he has not entered the Adolescent Stage, then he would still be in the latent phase, and might be seeking equilibrium. If this is the case, he has a need to fulfill and is having trouble meeting it. Using the information you gave, I would ask if something at home changed as far as parent-child relationship before you noticed the change in school performance. Your son might be trying to fulfill a missing piece in the father-son relationship. Another possibility would be that there are some repressed memories of events that took place in the past that are causing anxiety at school, preventing him from being able to access any information connected with his father.
Sincerely,
Sigmund Freud
- key term - defense mechanism - regression = go back to previous stage to when things were good
- compensation - "little man" syndrome (driving big or fast vehicles to compensate for ...)
- repression - events placed far back in memory in attempt to forget, can still come back
- justification - a type of rationalizing
- rationalizing -
*escape - defense of ego - can be physical, or psychological*denial
- transferrence - transfering feelings about one situation onto another person
*projection - pushing something about one's self that you do not like onto someone else*fixation - chronologically out of a stage, but being fixated on the stage (ex. oral fixation = gum chewing, smoking) (anal retentive vs. anal expulsive) expulsive = no filtering, everything is out all the time, someone else cleans up mess
Skinner
Dear Frustrated Mom,It sounds like you have some real concerns about your son. It is not uncommon for children to have troubles in school as they get older. It would be of great interest to me to know exactly what has been tried with your son.
Operant conditioning may offer a solution. First of all, what is motivating to your son? What could be used as a reward to motivate him to do better, either at home or school? This could be either a material item that he enjoys, a preferred activity or take the shape of many other things. He could actually be motivated by the negative attention that he has been gleaning from his teachers and maybe from you.
Clearly, you are convinced of your son’s ability to perform well. You were not very specific in the letter about what behavior he is exhibiting in the classroom, except that he is not completing work. Is he acting out or just refusing to engage in appropriate behavior? If we are unable to determine an appropriate motivating reward, we may need to gather data surrounding the offending behavior. We would need to determine the behavior’s antecedent, which is what happens at or before the behavior. Then we would need to determine the consequence, positive of negative, to the behavior. At that time we could develop a strategy to deal with the behavior, either by changing the antecedent or consequence.
You may need to approach the problem bit by bit. Once you have determined terminal behavior or the desired end result, you could work toward the goal by shaping your son’s behavior, which is breaking down the end goal into manageable increments.
Your friend,
B. F. Skinner
Bandura
Dear Frustrated Single Mom,
First and foremost, I believe in a social learning theory and we learn by social modeling. Each person is a model and your son will learn by observing what others are modeling for him. Have your son visualize a past success so he can self-model. It would also be helpful if you had a male role model that he can look up to and if you have a neighbor, a priest, a friend, to model writing assignments for him, even consider, free writing after dinner so he can observe a male role model performing this skill. If he wants to learn this skill he needs attention, retention, reproduction and motivation. Let’s take a deeper look into each of these behaviors.
1. Attention: He has to pay attention, he cannot be tired or over hyper. If he is distracted, I would suggest turning the off the TV as well as other distractions.
2. Retention: He has to be able to remember and he needs to create mental images so he can remember them later. During the writing assignments, have him visualize them as a movie and type to script. This mental image should help him complete his writing assignment.
3. Reproduction: If he sees himself as being a good writing, he should be able to perform like one.
4. Motivation: As with any child, it is imperative that he has motivation in the form of reinforcement, these can include, past reinforcement, promised reinforcements and vicarious reinforcements. If you find that this does not work, consider negative motivations such as punishment, threats but be prepared for this to back fire.
In addition to the above suggestions, it is important for him to self-regulate his own behavior. Let me suggest three steps.
1. Self Observation: Ask him to look at past writing assignments and current writing assignments.
2. Judgement: Ask him to compare what he saw then versus now and set a goal.
3. Self-Response: When a goal has been reached, he needs to find a reward for himself. Likewise, if he does not do well, he may feel ashamed. This is tied closely to self concept, or you may know it as self-esteem. It is possible that he currently has a low self-concept and this is an issue that may need to be addressed. It is important for him to have positive self-efficacy, he needs to think he can do it! Think of the little engine that could.
If you find that the above suggestions do not help, please call my office and we may need to discuss therapy in the forms of behavioral charts, including a behavioral diary. We can discuss environmental planning based on the diary and self-contracts. I believe in an action oriented response, problem solving response and work well with people who like to get things done rather than philosophize about ids, archetypes, actualization, freedom, and all the other mentalist constructs personologists tend to dwell on. I believe in results that you can see and measure. I look forward to working with you and your son, we will solve this problem! Call my secretary at, 1-800-BANDURA.
Sincerely,
Dr. Bandura